Thursday, February 3, 2011

Worst of 2010

There's another little awards show just around the corner, The Razzies! In honor of The Golden Raspberry, I thought I'd share my least favorite films of 2010. Now I narrowingly missed JONAH HEX, SEX & THE CITY 2, ECLIPSE, THE LAST AIRBENDER, and LITTLE FOCKERS. However, I did manage to sit through a few stinkers. Maybe I can save you some trouble by not seeing these atrocious "films."

I had high hopes for this film. Eli Roth was really pushing this one and I gave it a chance because I trust him. This was a bigger let down than finding out the Easter Bunny is not real. It was a great concept, good story, and the acting was great. BUT, the ending fell by the wayside. Is it possible that THE EXORCIST cursed (no pun intended) the possession genre. NOTHING has come remotely close to it! I just feel like the ending for EXORCISM was hastily thrown together and we were all left thinking, "What just happened?"

I really want to scold RDJ for doing this turd. RDJ has come a long way and has only gotten more dignified as an actor. Some may say, he can do no wrong. Those people did not see this crap. The story was ridiculous but no where near as sophomoric as Galifianakis. HE IS NOT FUNNY! He plays the same character in EVERY film/skit. The awkward, socially handicap friend routine works in those other movies because he's not a central character. When all you hear for an hour and a half long movie is Galifianakis' asinine jokes, you just want to stab your ears out. Not even RDJ could save this atrocity. The dog was the only redeeming quality. My advice for RDJ is to leave this nonsense to Ashton Kutcher.

How many crimes can RDJ commit in one year? Is he on drugs again? What the fuck? I'm not gonna say this film was terrible, but it wasn't good. First of all, it was too long and second of all, they introduced too many characters at once. There was WAY too much going on in this movie, it was like suicide nite at the carnival. The Scarlett Johansson character was completely unnecessary. The only purpose she served was a boner for fanboys. I'm through with this franchise. Shame on Justin Theroux for writing this bad script.

Wow, what a steamy pile of shit. This is probably some of THE worst acting I have ever seen (keep in mind I have watched SUBURBAN COMMANDO). Is this what the future of film holds? One dimensional actresses with pouty faces and hipster haircuts? If so, I'm moving to France and trying my hand at the extreme horror genre. No wonder Lita Ford didn't want her name associated with this garbage. This monstrosity was created for one purpose only (not just to promote Cherie Currie's book), to make TWILIGHT bitch and Dakota Fanning kiss.
PS- Not even that looked good!

Ok, I may be a bit biased because I have ALWAYS despised Joaquin Phoenix. I think he's a mediocre actor who plays up this outlandish alter ego because he's too boring for his family of eccentrics. He needs to leave the conflicted, misunderstood actor antics to Christian Bale. Shame on Casey Affleck for marrying into this weirdo family. Whether or not you knew it was a fake upon watching is irrelevant. If you were indifferent towards Joaquin before, this mockumentary will make you loathe him. Disagree all you want Vince. My only question is: If River Phoenix were alive today, would anyone give a shit who Joaquin is?

I like weird shit. I love offensive shit. I even like disturbing shit. This film is just insulting shit! I watched it because it was so hyped up at SXSW. Harmony Korine is one of these NY elitist film aficionados who spew silly conundrums like "What is art?", "Is art art?" I found nothing shocking or outrageous about this film, only pretentious. The thing is, no one would give a shit about this film if Joe Schmoe in middle of nowhere Missouri made it. But since Harmony Korine did it, everyone has to analyze and discuss it. I read a review that some guy posted; it said his girlfriend ran out of the theatre crying after 20mins and questioned whether or not they should be together because she couldn't understand why he would take her to see something like that. I think what we really need to examine is why Harmony Korine is famous. Sure KIDS was great (he only wrote the script), but everything else sucks.


  1. ok!, I've been awaiting a "worst of" list to balance your top picks. With a title like Trash Humpers and that cover pic, I can see myself giving it a try. Thanks for the warning! We'll continue to a.t.d. on Joaquin (though one might argue Casey is equally beholden to a sibling for his notoriety which doesn't detract from us/you giving him his props. ironically, he is the MORE talented of the two...but, I digress). RAZZIES! I'M SO THERE!

  2. oh, as well.. I finally watched Choke. (not *ugh* Crush speaking of absolute garbage) enjoyed the film, pitch black humor reminded me why I love Palahniuk. That was the funniest rape scene ever put to film. #thingsineverthoughti'dsay

    Here is Misfits see you soon!