Monday, December 13, 2010

Most Hated

With Festivus rapidly approaching, I thought I'd get a head start on airing my grievances. Here are a few things I absolutely loathe. In no particular order:

LOL, epic, legit, FTW
I don't have a FaceBook account so unfortunately I have to miss out on so many mundane status updates. I do, however, have a twitter account so I read several compacted 140 character messages daily. Through twitter, I've learned how funny or incredibly boring my acquaintances are. I've also learned a lot about David Lynch, yet I'm more confused about him than ever before. These simple inane words happen to annoy me to no end. Now I'm no English major but I can think of a dozen more words that would be far more useful than these. My least favorite is FTW. Why would you wanna "Fuck The World?" It makes no sense. And "cheeseburgers FTW!" or "going to IKEA FTW!" makes even less sense. Epic and legit belong in the vocabulary of a 15yr old boy. Which means no one I associate with, has any business using either word.

James Cameron
Cameron is an arrogant asshole who deserves no recognition. He has become the new Michael Bay but way more douchey. I've never been a fan of his, but I have seen several of his movies and I think they're pretty mediocre. They are huge glitzy productions that merely conceal bad acting. I'll admit TERMINATOR 2 was entertaining, but it wasn't Oscar worthy. Nearly all of the filmmakers I admire have a very unique style that sets them apart from others. Cameron has no style whatsoever. All he has is a lot of money, some special effects, and an inflated ego. And for the record I have not see AVATAR, but I have seen FERNGULLY which is the same thing.

My problems with Glee may lie with the people who watch it more than the show itself. Being involved with theatre at one time has made me wary of people who spontaneously break out in song. It actually makes me cringe. Theatre people are some of the most self involved individuals I've ever come across. I also hate most contemporary pop music. Jane Lynch is becoming increasingly overexposed, she may be the new Jack Black. I feel like the people who watch this show are the ones who randomly quote Shakespeare and Dr. Seuss.

FourSquare, GoWalla, etc.
I'm referring to the mobile application that many people use to "check in." It's basically a way for people to mark their territories like dogs pissing on fire hydrants. I don't think people realize how irritating and hazardous it can become. Think about it: Bob & Sue just checked in at the football game. They will be gone for the next three hours which is plenty of time to rob their house. On the other had, 4SQ/GoWalla/whatever is like being in an abusive relationship when you have to tell your abuser where you are every minute of the day. By the way, if you become "the mayor" of your work place, you need to get back to work.

Los Angeles Lakers
Has anyone else ever seem such a collection of delinquents? I hate the Lakers, not because "they're champs," but because they're rapist, hoodlums, and most of all dirty players. The Lakers are like every villainous character wrapped into one team. Kobe Bryant is Lex Luthor, Gasol is Gargamel, and Ron Artest is Skeletor. Even their mascot is a villain, The Joker. By the way, anyone else notice that Pau Gasol resembles the buzzard from Looney Tunes?

Film Remakes
For an industry that was founded on creativity and art, Hollywood sure has dropped the ball with all these remakes. Instead of bastardizing someone else's vision, why not build your own? Most of the films that are now being remade work because of the language, setting, and period they were originally devised in. As good of reviews the LET THE RIGHT ONE IN remake received, I still refuse to watch it. What made this film beautiful was the language and the wonderfully dark backdrop of Sweden. The NIGHTMARE ON ELM ST remake was like someone stomping on my childhood. NIGHTMARE without Robert Englund is like Journey without Steve Perry. It just becomes a cheap facade. Other remakes I'm disappointed with include: GHOSTBUSTERS, HELLRAISER, FRIDAY THE 13TH, ARTHUR, BATTLE ROYALE, ,THE ORPHANAGE, TEEN WOLF, THE WARRIORS, THE CROW, and FRIGHT NIGHT. The list goes on but I will let you IMDB the rest. They're even remaking shitty movies like FOOTLOOSE and DROP DEAD FRED.

No comments:

Post a Comment