When I grow up

What did you want to be when you grow up?

My first ideal occupation became an obsession for me as a child. From the time I can remember to about middle school I wanted to be an archaeologist. Like many other small children, I was fascinated by dinosaurs and mummies. Ancient dead things were so much more intriguing than real people. When you're shy and awkward, digging up the past is a lot more soothing than being social.

Eventually, I became interested in acting. I had dreams about appearing in episodes of Unsolved Mysteries, seriously. Who wouldn't want to re-enact various crimes of passion or hauntings?! The idea of briefly becoming someone else sounded so appealing. Again being shy and awkward made it uncomfortable being in my own skin.

Later as a teen, I became more confident with myself. I wanted to try my hand at theatre. It just felt like the most revered form of entertainment. Then I got to college and realized I am not a "theatre person." I did not have the over the top personality that comes with being in that business. The dramatic reputation prevented me from actually enjoying the theatre.

Here I am back at the drawing board again. Still unsure of what I want, where I want to be, and who I want to become. I know what I don't want if that makes any difference.