Thanksgiving Dinner

Now that the holiday season is upon us, I wanted to take some time to reflect before chaos ensues and we all end up going ape shit at Target after hearing WHAM’s “Last Christmas” for the 10,000th time. I have a very small immediate family that I can count on one hand so our holidays were always really low key for us. There are never any cousins, crazy aunts, or rowdy grandchildren running amok (there are always dogs running amok). Sometimes I miss that experience, but for the most part I’m perfectly happy with our close little family. There are less people to offend.



I got to thinking about my ideal situation for a formal Thanksgiving dinner. What would it be like if I could invite anyone I wanted? I thought of ten people I would love to have over for my Thanksgiving dinner party. My guests are listed in no particular order and are narrowed down to real people living or dead. I left off fictional characters otherwise this would be the Whedonverse edition of Thanksgiving (that’s for another post). I left off Tarantino as I feel like he would dominate the dinner conversation. I also excluded Gary Oldman as I feel his staunch Republican ideas would be much too taboo for this crowd. It was really hard to narrow down my list to just ten people. I could name ten directors and actors alone. Anyhow here goes:



Gullermo del Toro
Del Toro is one of my favorite film directors hands down. He brings a beauty and awe to the fantasy genre that others only dream about. He also brought to life one of my favorite comic book characters, Hellboy. I’ve watched countless interviews with del Toro and he is so affable. His projects are made with such love and care because he is a fan first and foremost. His passion really shows through in his work. He would be the perfect person to carve the Tofurkey.



Elvira
Elvira is such an icon. Her beauty goes beyond her signature black dress and wig. I read a book by Pamela De Barres with a chapter by Elvira. She speaks candidly about her experiences with musicians including Elvis. After this short read, I was even more fascinated by the Mistress of the Dark. As a big animal lover, she is also a strict vegan. She would be responsible for bringing some vegan sides.



Joe Strummer
It’s hard to believe it’s been more than ten years since Joe Strummer left this Earth. I remember that sad day like it was yesterday. A little bit of the light in the world ceased when Joe Strummer died, but fortunately his amazing words and music live on. Growing up in the 80s I was well aware of The Clash, but I had yet to figure out what punk rock was. Once I made the correlation, it was like a spark went off in my head. I can never put into words how much The Clash affected my life. Even now, when I feel like a boring ass sell out, I just listen to London Calling and I still feel that same spark.



Patty Hearst
I have a strange fascination with Patty Hearst, much like John Waters. When I first heard the story of Patty Hearst, I couldn’t believe it. Imagine if someone like Paris Hilton (not to diss Patty like that) was kidnapped today and subsequently robbed a bunch of banks before the public realized she was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. That’s pretty much what happened to Hearst. She was born into more money than 99% of us will ever know. My fascination also lies within the afterthought. Hearst dabbled a bit in acting, but mostly led a relatively quiet life after her short prison term. I recently came across her Instagram page and it’s mostly pictures of her grandchild & dogs, such normal things for an extraordinary life.



Bruce Springsteen
You either love The Boss or you hate him. I choose to love him. I indeed enjoy his music as I have a soft spot for almost any 80s music. However, The Boss is a rock icon. For all his success, he seems like such a down to Earth man. The kind of guy you can grab a beer with and just shoot the shit as evident with his cameo in HIGH FIDELITY. He’s also a great philanthropist who always contributes to charity. He’s a true working class hero who believes in power for the people.



Clive Barker
Barker has been one of my favorite writers as long as I can remember. When kids my age were reading Goosebumps, I was reading The Books of Blood. He’s created some of the most frightening yet intriguing characters in the horror genre. Where I feel like greats like Wes Craven have fallen from grace, Barker has been consistent with his films and books. He is still very active in the art world; his Tumblr page is filled with racy art photos. Sometimes it catches me off guard as I;m scrolling through pics of dogs then, BAM pics of dicks. Barker is still very involved with the Hellraiser comic book and writes another storyline (which I read regularly).



Bill Murray
Murray is hands down the funniest man alive. From stories I have heard, he also loves to party. Murray got pulled over in Switzerland a few years ago for driving a golf cart drunk. He just seems like a really fun guy to hang out with. Even after all these years of success, Murray doesn’t even have a publicist or a cell phone which makes him sort of an enigma. He would be on bartending duties at my dinner party. If anyone is keeping it real, it’s Bill Murray.



Robert Smith
Robert Smith has got to be the most wonderful person in the world and he’s written some of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. I would love nothing more than just to sit & talk and maybe hug Robert Smith. Robert and I could eat cranberry sauce and trade pie recipes. He just seems so happy and pleasant to be around. In middle school, I had, “I heart Robert Smith” written on my shoes in permanent marker. I also had the lyrics to “Lovesong” scribbled on my binder. Seriously, he’s perfect and after all, he did save the world from Barbara Streisand.



Joss Whedon
You’ve heard me go on endless rants about how much of a genius Whedon is. It’s true; he’s brilliant and he has brought so much joy to my life. His charming sense of humor really shines through in his writing. However, since catching a glimpse of his interworkings via twitter, I’ve come to realize he’s as dorky as I am. I feel like we would be best friends. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but I know Joss Whedon would be awesome to hang out with and have over for Thanksgiving dinner.



HONORABLE MENTION
My Dad
My dad died when I was 16 years old and I still think about him almost everyday. In some ways, I’ve never gotten over that. I would just love to see what he thought about me now and the person I’ve become. I’d love for him to meet my dogs. I just wish I knew what he thought about everything. I still miss him very much.

There you have it folks, my ideal guest list for Thanksgiving dinner. My family isn’t as crazy as a lot of others so my actual guest list will be almost comparable to this one. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. No matter how you celebrate or where you go, remember to be grateful for your loved ones and the time you share together.

Happy Holidays

Most Anticipated Films of 2013

Wow, it really seems like this year is poised for big things. The film industry is abuzz with the usual blockbusters, sequels, and remakes. I could care less about MAN OF STEEL, G.I. JOE, or THE HANGOVER III. I am more concerned with several releases scheduled for SXSW, Sundance, and Cannes. Don't get me wrong, I am still looking forward to PACIFIC RIM, THE ICEMAN, and THE WOLF OF WALL STREET. I am also awaiting some interesting documentaries such as THE CENTRAL PARK FIVE, AFTER TILLER, and WHICH WAY IS THE FRONT LINE FROM HERE. It has been so hard narrowing down the films I am anticipating the most. Here is a list of films I cannot wait to see. Synopsis courtesy of imdb.com.

10. BLACKFISH

Notorious killer whale Tilikum is responsible for the deaths of three individuals, including a top killer whale trainer. Blackfish shows the sometimes devastating consequences of keeping such intelligent and sentient creatures in captivity.

Apparently, it isn't PC to call them "killer whales" anymore. Let's face it people, they are wild "killer" animals meant to live in oceans not as circus performers living in a kiddie pool. Nature is not meant to be tamed by man which is why these whales go ape shit and kill people. With the recent success of RUST AND BONE, this doc should continue to peak people's interest in Shamu & friends.

9. AFTERNOON DELIGHT

Afternoon Delight centers around a young couple (played by Josh Radnor and Kathryn Hahn) who have a young child together. The couple are beginning to become a little disillusioned by life as parents and decide to hire a nanny to help with their child. However, in a bid to spice up their life a little, they decide not to hire any ordinary nanny but instead opt to hire a stripper (Juno Temple).

Everyone is talking about Jennifer Lawrence, Bland Hathaway, and Elizabeth Olsen as actresses to watch. Juno Temple is the girl to look out for! She had fantastic roles in KABOOM and my favorite film of 2012, KILLER JOE. I know she is poised to break out any minute now. Or dare I say she could become the new indie darling a la Parker Posey?

8. ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE

A story centered on two vampires who have been in love for centuries. Adam (Tom Hiddleston), an underground musician reunites with his lover for centuries (Tilda Swinton) after he becomes depressed and tired with the direction human society has taken. Their love is interrupted and tested by her wild and uncontrollable little sister (Mia Wasikowska).

The latest film from the King of Cool, Jim Jarmusch. Jarmusch's films have this fluidity that I have never seem in any other filmmaking. Throw in Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton into the mix and it's a recipe for greatness. Could this be TWILIGHT for the astute?

7. MACHETE KILLS/ SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR

The U.S. government recruits Machete to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer who looks to launch a weapon into space.

The town's most hard boiled citizens cross paths with some of its more reviled inhabitants.

I actually got to visit Austin Studios last summer when they did the casting for MACHETE KILLS and come to find out for SIN CITY as well. Rodriguez was planning to shoot these two films back to back. I'm really looking forward to both of these sequels. It's hard to believe it's been seven years since the last SIN CITY and two cast members have died since then. Even though I hate Frank Miller as a person, I still love his writing in Sin City. I've heard so many different casting rumors from Johnny Depp to Angelina Jolie. Looks like JGL will be taking over the Depp role due to scheduling conflicts. I thought it was a joke that Charlie Sheen AND Mel Gibson were also staring in MACHETE. Isn't that too much crazy for one film? MACHETE also stars my girl crush, Amber Heard. Neither of these film will make a huge splash with the mainstream world, but I guarantee you they will be cult classics in years to come. Rodriguez is a legend in his own right and a hometown hero here in Austin.

6. UNTITLED TERENCE MALICK PROJECT/ KNIGHT OF CUPS/ VOYAGE OF TIME

Two intersecting love triangles. Obsession and betrayal set against the music scene in Austin, Texas.

A man, temptations, celebrity, and excess.

An examination of the birth and death of the universe.

Terence Malick used to make one film every decade, now he's pumping them out faster than Uwe Boll. Granted the shit Malick took this morning was probably better than anything Uwe Boll has ever done. Malick is another local legend who continues to cast our beautiful city in his lovely films. VOYAGE was not filmed in town, but it reunites Malick and Brad Pitt in another existential film about life and death. The untitled project created quit the stir in town! There were more Hey Girl (Ryan Gosling)sightings than the ever elusive white squirrel at UT campus. And since it was filmed in various local bars and music festivals, I know about half a dozen people who are extras in this film. People who have probably never even heard of Terrence Malick...but noooo I'm not jealous at all! I did happen to have my own heart stopping celebrity sighting. Kenny and I happen to run into one of my favorite actors, Michael Fassbender just walking down South Congress drinking a Topo Chico! Let me tell you friends, he's much better looking in person. Anyhow, I am really glad to see Malick has become so active these days.

5. THE GOLDEN SUICIDES

A chronicle of the double suicide of artists Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake.

I first read the story about Duncan and Blake in Vanity Fair and I was completely fascinated. How could two young, beautiful, and talented people just off themselves with no explanation? Throw in some Scientology in the mix and the story gets even more interesting. Originally, Bret Easton Ellis expressed interest in writing the script, but I think he got distracted with the upcoming bomb, THE CANYONS. So far, I've heard Ellis may still be writing the script along with Gus Van Sant with a rumor of Hey Girl starring. What really perked my ears was when I heard Gaspar Noe would be directing. The very same man who brought us IRREVERSIBLE and ENTER THE VOID! Well, we have see if this film will actually see the light of day in 2013. Either way, I am anxiously waiting.

4. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

A modern retelling of Shakespeare's classic comedy about two pairs of lovers with different takes on romance and a way with words.

Shakespeare has been done to death and I could really give a shit about MUCH ADO if Whedon's name were not attached. Whedon shot this film under the radar while working on THE AVENGERS. He said it was sort of like a distraction to take his mind off the rigors of doing such a hugely monumental film. The cast consists of the usual Whedonverse suspects including several Buffy alumni. Most importantly, it stars the ever dreamy Nathan Fillion. To be honest, I would watch anything Joss Whedon created.

3. STOKER

After India's father dies, her Uncle Charlie, who she never knew existed, comes to live with her and her unstable mother. She comes to suspect this mysterious, charming man has ulterior motives and becomes increasingly infatuated with him.

This marks Chan-Wook Park's first English film. The man who gave us the holy trinity of vengeance films. I really hope that Park's style and precision translate well to English. My concern for this stems from last year's THE TALL MAN, a film by Pascal Laugier. Laugier directed the much talked about MARTYRS, a French film that has been regarded as one of the most disturbing films ever made. There is no doubt Laugier is of great talent, but his first crossover English film (THE TALL MAN) was a poor example of his magnitude. I hope this curse escapes Park. With the upcoming remake of Park's own OLDBOY, I really hope STOKER blows Spike Lee out of the water.

2. NYMPHOMANIAC

A self-diagnosed nymphomaniac recounts her erotic experiences to the man who saved her after a beating.

This film caused a huge stir when it was announced. The rumor was that unsimulated sex would actually be shot. Would you expect anything less from the disturbed mind of Lars Von Trier? Where else was he gonna go after those Nazi comments at Cannes? Anyhow, despite Von Trier's excentricities, I still love his films. The one thing about this film that leaves a bad taste in my mouth is Shia LaBeouf. If there ever was a sole embodyment of the word "douchebag", LeBeouf would be it. Not very long ago, he renounced mainstream cinema and decided he would only make independent films from now one. No one forced LeBeouf to make all those shitty Transformers movies! Try as you may Shia, you cannot escape your long resume of atrocious films. Even his name alone annoys me. Anyway, this film brings back Charlotte Gainsbourg who previously worked with Von Trier in MELANCHOLIA and ANTICHRIST. Her continued interest in working with Von Trier makes me think she's just as crazy as he is. Either way, I'm coming along for the ride!

1. HORNS

In the aftermath of his girlfriend's mysterious death, a young man awakens to strange horns sprouting from his temples.

The film adaptation of the much revered book by horror novelist, Joe Hill. I loved this book when it came out along with everything else Hill writes. I have watched this production very closely in hopes that they do this book justice and I feel really optimistic about it. The lead role was originally cast with Shia LeBeouf and of course I was livid. He dropped out and Daniel Radcliffe took over. The only thing I have ever seen Radcliffe in was THE WOMAN IN BLACK. The film itself was pretty mediocre, but Radcliffe was surprisingly good. The poor guy will forever live in the shadow of Harry Potter which is unfortunate because he could be the next Leo. I hope this film at least helps in his turn as a serious dramatic actor. I think he will make a great Ig Parrish and I am just ecstatic that my girl, Juno Temple will be playing his girlfriend Merrin. Originally, I was picturing someone like Bryce Dallas Howard in the role, but I think Temple will do a fantastic job. Alexandre Aja, the genius behind HIGH TENSION and PIRANHA 3D, will be directing. Let's hope this all works out, at least for my sake!

What are you guys looking forward to?

Cabin In The Woods

ATTENTION: SERIOUS SPOILERS AHEAD! DO NO READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS FILM YET!!! SERIOUSLY, I MEAN IT! DO NOT RUIN THE SURPRISE.

I cannot get this film out of my head! I watched it again this weekend to get a better look at the infamous white board. All I can say is that CABIN is an orgasmic delight for any horror fan. Just when I condemned American Horror to the pits of Uwe Boll hell, here comes one of the most refreshing game changing films I've seen in a long time. I will be the first to admit that I was skeptical in the beginning. I followed the progress of this film because Joss Whedon wrote the script and Drew Goodard was directing. Everyone knows Joss as the Patron Saint of Sci-Fi, soon to be golden boy of the comic world. Goodard got his start writing episodes for the greatest show on Earth, Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I decided to put my trust and faith in Joss and give this film a shot. He hasn't let us down yet.

This film was shot in 2009, but sat on the shelf due to conflicts between the studio and Joss Whedon. The studio initially wanted the film to be in 3D and Joss would not have it. The film is perfect without 3D. When will people learn that 3D does not make things better!? Flash forward to Friday the 13th of April 2012: I went in to the theater with no clue what to expect. I refused to read spoilers and I had only seen one trailer. I even missed the Alamo pre-show upon first screening so I couldn't even draw conclusions from that. The first introductory scene of the five young people was nothing out of the ordinary. As soon as I heard Jules & Curt joking about the famous 80s drug PSA, I immediately remembered I was in Whedon's World and all would be right. Aw yes, there's that classic Whedon-speak that we have all grown to love. Seriously, not since John Hughes has one man come to understand young people and vernacular so well. Another special treat was seeing old favorites Amy Acker (Fred from Angel) and Tom Lenk (Andrew from Buffy).

Joss and Goodard obviously have a lot of love and respect for the horror genre. This film is sort of a homage to horror of the past. I think it also does a great job of calling out the current sad state of American Horror. CABIN is a testament to the banal formula of horror films that have come from the US in the last twenty years. It definitely pokes fun of the unoriginality that has become a steady flow in Hollywood. Here's what Joss had to say about it:

"On another level it's a serious critique of what we love and what we don't about horror movies. I love being scared. I love that mixture of thrill, of horror, that objectification/identification thing of wanting definitely for the people to be alright but at the same time hoping they’ll go somewhere dark and face something awful. The things that I don't like are kids acting like idiots, the devolution of the horror movie into torture porn and into a long series of sadistic comeuppances. Drew and I both felt that the pendulum had swung a little too far in that direction."

Ok, on to the monsters! There's a scene where Amy Acker explains that the monsters are something our nightmares are from. I read one message board post about how it felt like when we were kids and we made GI Joe, He-Man, Ninja Turtles, Batman, and Thundercats action figures battle it out all at once. I love that instead of re-creating THE EVIL DEAD, they wrote a love letter to it and all the other slasher films we grew up with. Did you notice the Deadites on the white board? How about the rape tree? All the references really warmed my heart. I love the HELLRAISER hints, the FRIDAY THE 13TH nods, and especially the Ripley cameo. And what can I say about the unicorn or merman other than BRAVO! I like to think that the giant snake is a nod to Mayor Wilkins from season 3 of Buffy. I also believe the Cabin signifies the ultimate Hellmouth containing the biggest bad we ever saw since The First. There were so many wonderful innuendos that I thought my head would explode from excitement.

I just wanna thank Joss Whedon for restoring my hope in my all time favorite film genre. I would expect no less from such an extraordinary filmmaker. He's one of the few people who create, as a fan for other fans. CABIN truly is a beautiful puzzle for horror fans to study and critique. Take notes Zack Snyder and James Wan! Don't be surprised to see CABIN IN THE WOODS on my Best of 2012 List. PS- I actually might watch THE AVENGERS now.